A Lawyer Died

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.

Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 196 years old!"

Good Names For Lawyers

Target Practice

A fine example of reverse evolution

Scum-sucking bottom feeders

The Damned

A great argument for mandatory birth control

Merchants of Misery

Rats with briefcases

Blood-sucking vampires.

Truth Management Consultant

Legal Weasels

Ambulance Chasers

Cannon Fodder

Creatures from the bottom of the septic tank

Lie Engineers

THE TRUTHFULLY CHALLENGED

Uncivil servants

Vampires with telephones

Wallet snatchers

Boogers in the nose of life

Loophole Lizards Power Arrangers

Road Kill

Tapeworms

Money-sucking legal leeches

LEECHES

Legal thieves.

Speed Bumps

Boat Anchors

Lawiars

Shark bait

Six Feet Under